THE LYCEUM

“It is the lawyer's daughter,

And she is grown so dear, so dear,

She costs me, in one evening,

The income of a year!

‘You can't have children's love,’ she cried,

‘Unless you choose to fee 'em!’

‘And what's your fee, child?’ I replied.

She simply said ———

“We saw ‘The Cup.’” I hoped she'd say,

“I'm grateful to you, very.”

She murmured, as she turned away,

“That lovely [Ellen Terry.]

“Compared with her, the rest,” she cried,

“Are just like two or three um-

“berellas standing side by side!

“Oh, gem of ———

“We saw Two Brothers. I confess

To me they seemed one man.

“Now which is which, child? Can you guess?”

She cried, “A-course I can!”

Bad puns like this I always dread,

And am resolved to flee 'em.

And so I left her there, and fled;

She lives at ———

1881.